I guess you're right. I always screw things up, thinking that I can handle everything altogether when it's far beyond my capabilities. And I would mess things up one after another, because my progress has always been built like dominos - all it takes is just one mistake to purge every last one of my efforts.

All of this could've been avoided if I just knew how to detach myself emotionally. But I couldn't, and this is the price I have to pay.

It doesn't pay to be truthful to the people who you think could've helped you. I should have known that they have already formed their god damn perceptions, and that nothing I said would have changed anything. They didn't deserve to know anything, and I shouldn't have let them.


This month has been nothing short of hell.

This week has been kind of... Havoc. Work and school aside, there's been quite the number of spontaneous late night plans and though they have been pretty fun, I should probably take care of my liver lol. I've been drinking a little too much this week.

I went to Gardens By The Bay last weekend to get some shots for a photojourn assignment, together with Jolaine, her boyfriend and Kelvin. So yeah this post is kinda a week late but there's just been too many stuff going on this week for an update.
It's the second time I've been there and I think I might have gotten better photos this time but... It's still not enough ):








Not sure what my plans for the coming week are, but I really can't wait for this semester to be done. I have things I want to do for the two week break... I need a breather.

I spent the last Sunday catching up with Arif over movie and dinner, my Tuesday singing k with some of the bros and Wednesday catching Paper Towns with Ziman after work. I got free preview tickets from my lady bosses huehuehue. Oh and during Hari Raya, it was meeting up with some of the primary school pals for Jerry's birthday celebration.

I wish I had made plans for today because now I'm just rotting at home with assignments... It's been a not so good day and I need to find someway to keep myself occupied lol.

I wonder, at some point in time, did I start to suffocate you? And when you left, did you feel like you could finally breathe fresh air? You were my sun, my moon and all of my stars. But I was just toxic, and if I did things differently, do you think I could save you from my poison somehow?

I've been having one of the worst breakouts this week I just really wanna stay home and hide my face. And my parents have been saying that I deserve it since I'm sleeping too late everyday lol. Blame it on the havoc nights.

On one of my work days this week, I was working on another one of Ohvola's videos, and this time it's for the previous birthday bash event the past weekend! I was doing the filming on scene that Sunday, followed by four to five hours of non-stop editing in the office on Thursday and I'd say that I'm pretty pleased with the results!! Post-production is one of the most tedious processes about filming that I don't particularly look forward to, but... I gotta do what I gotta do LOL.

And so here's the video! It's one of those that what I filmed/edited was more acceptable (though people around me say it's great and that certainly motivates me to work harder), but it's still nowhere near any blockbuster trailers or wedding films. Wait till I invest in a better camera and learn how to properly apply filters to my films huehuehue.



That's pretty much it for now. Time to meet some pals over this weekend to catch up hehe.

It's been a ridiculously exhausting weekend.

On Saturday, it was finally Kelvin's POP and that was my second time attending someone's POP. For both, the rain just had to grace its presence at the floating platform. It was early and I'm freezing while being stuck in a downpour... Not the way I intended to start my morning but Zhiyi's lame jokes made it quite bearable, and seeing the bff was pretty worth it. The last weekend he was telling me about his master plan of using air fresheners to make sure he doesn't stink LOL and he actually didn't smell bad?? HAHA.

I spent the rest of the afternoon to evening shopping and catching a movie with some friends before heading home to crash for like three hours?? I woke up at 11pm (almost overslept) before heading out for one of the most "go hard or go home" decisions of my life.



If you haven't heard... I signed up for OSIM Sundown Marathon after winning an Instagram giveaway that granted me a free ticket for any category. And so, I registered for the full marathon with Ziman and Yize without giving it much of a second thought LOL
Prior to this 42km, I have never participated in other marathons, unless you count National Vertical Marathon (NVM) 2014 and Electric Run 2014. Everyone said I was crazy and I probably am, but I paid for my impulsive decision. Our flag off was just slightly before 2am and I knew I should have came home earlier and slept and ate more for dinner.
Before hitting the halfway mark, I was already dying mentally physical spiritually because my right knee is being a bitch as usual and I thought of giving up so many times... But somehow after reaching the 29km mark, a newfound resilience hit me and I just kinda pushed myself the rest of the way through while it turned from dusk to dawn.

And we completed the 42.195km!! Though we didn't exactly practised or conditioned ourselves as much as we needed to, we made it through and the sense of accomplishment together with the shirt and medal was really worth it ;)
Before the marathon my dad was doubting my abilities to complete it. So did Ziman's family. It was pretty funny but we did it!!




Right after that I was way too fatigued to think about anything. I headed home, concussed for three hours before heading to work at Ohvola's birthday bash event. Yes, work right after a marathon. Idk I think I'm really crazy. I really wanted to crash and burn the whole time but I persevered till the end of my Sunday.

So yeap, after the weekend, my mental strength and resilience improved by leaps and bounds, maybe transcended beyond all previous limitations I have set for myself HAHAHA. Okay, I kid. While my mind has recovered from yesterday's torture, my body is still overwhelmed with exhaustion and wrecked with muscle aches all over. How I even dragged myself out of bed to school... It must be the fear of receiving more warning letters for debarment.

That's pretty much it for my weekend. Now it's time to catch up on work and school sigh. The amount of working piling is starting to drive me insane. Maybe it's time to give up some things. I'm already stretching beyond my own personal capacity, and yet, it's not enough.

The hectic week is almost over and I'd like to think that the weeks to come are going to be more forgiving but... School always has it ways to throw me off guard. This coming weekend is going to be sooooo packed with many of my personal endeavours I hope I don't burn out before Monday's thirteen long hours of tutorials and lectures.

Anyway, Jolaine and I found some precious free time off our school and work schedules to finally visit Pacamara Boutique Coffee Roasters!! They've been in my to-go list ever since they took over where Liquid Kitchen used to be on Thomson road, mainly because they have this all-white interior that beckons me to visit every time the bus to school passes by it. Finally another cafe checked off the list!!

We got ourselves the Salmon Royale, Oven Baked 5 Cheese Macaroni, Truffle Fries, Lemongrass Ricotta Hotcakes and an iced Mocha! Yes, it's a lot for two people I almost died attempting to finish them. But it's okay, since I'm currently loading up on cargo for an upcoming marathon (huehuehue that's right I'm participating in a marathon this weekend but more about that on a later date).














Their truffle fries was probably the best out of everything we've ordered, though the lemongrass hotcakes was super pretty in real life and on camera?? I thought that it might just be another one of those superficial beauties but hey the lemongrass was quite refreshing on the palate.
I only had a mouthful of Jolaine's Salmon Royale but they had fish roe mixed with their hollandaise sauce atop the poached eggs and smoked salmon, making it double thumbs up!!







We both thought that cafe ventures are always the perfect excuse to better ourselves with our photography, especially since we didn't do too well for our previous photojournalism assignment. ):
To say that I'm disappointed would be an understatement. It feels like all the photos I've been taking thus far is nothing more than a joke (not that I'm saying the photos I'm taking now are perfect) and that's pretty depressing.
I spent the whole night reflecting on the criticism given by my lecturer and decided that it's time I up my photography game. I guess his deliberate harshness was meant to wake me up and it did it's job. I'm never ever gonna be slammed that bad during presentation again!!!

This cafe trip feels like a step towards the right direction? Because I really tried damn hard to get better photos this time. And if it still isn't good... I guess I just have no talent lol. Time to pack my bags and travel around the world in search of a greater perhaps maybe.


Meanwhile, I know that this is kind of slow but I'm really hooked onto Taylor Swift's 1989 album LOL. How could there be so many sick tunes and relatable lyrics in one album?! My favourites have got to be Wildest Dream, This Love, You Are In Love, I Know Places, Wonderland and Clean.

Okay have fun judging me all you want HAHAH bye.