Still alive but barely breathing.

9:00 AM

It's 9th December. It's not really a special date or anything, but it makes this blog one year old. Well technically, this blog is a few years old but since I moved my old archives somewhere else last December, this should be considered a renewed space too.

Last December, I remember feeling a whole lot of shit coming down on me from school, assignments and just life in general. Right now, I'm feeling pretty much the same way.

A lot has changed since poly, and I probably should've restarted this space the moment I got into poly, but I was always unwilling to let the past go. It's better late than never I guess, and right now, I couldn't be more grateful to myself for the decision I made.

Certainly, I have had a lot of pleasant (insane even) memories with a whole bunch of people, and I would never want to forget those times. But sometimes, looking back on those days ain't getting me anywhere. I thought being seventeen was tough game, but being eighteen is just a whole different level of shit altogether.

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This is how growing up feels like. I gotta keep telling myself that. So many things have inevitably changed, and I wonder how the 16 year-old me would react if she were to see me as I am today. I'm pretty sure the me in primary school would rather die than be where I am today.

It's hard to say. To everyone else, I can't be having it that bad. Well, yeah. Maybe. After all, I do have the best boyfriend, and presumably enough time or cash on my hands. What's wrong with me?

But I'm always fighting this battle inside me which I can't seem to ever win.

I guess you can count on this space to contain all my rants while I'm still this immature and naive. Cheers to the years of being in the state of between.

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