So here I am, two steps ahead and having to stay on guard.

1:16 AM

Selemat Hari Raya to all Muslim friends! It's actually past midnight now so I hope you guys enjoyed yourself during the public holiday heh.

Honestly, the holiday came at the best time possible, or so I think. It's just before all the JC kids plunge into their mugging phase before A's and before the poly kids have all their final assignments to rush and spend sleepless nights over. So yeah, what a timely holiday. It's sad how National Day falls on a weekend though. I could use another day's worth of break.

Just sometime this week, I decided to be a little artsy fartsy with the tea flowers I got from Malacca last weekend. I was actually just gonna pack them into jars but I thought I might as well take some pretty shots with my dusty DSLR while I'm at it. So yeah just a couple of pictures that stemmed from free time and boredom.

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^This is my favourite shot hehehe.

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(French rose // Apple Rose // Lavender - can't wait to make some tea with em flowers)

School days aside, I spent the long break fruitfully. Friday night was catching up with my bros over some russian vodka and Whiskey at Ziman's place. And I really really miss Kelvin and Ziman cause I haven't seen them in quite a while. Seriously can't wait till the end of their A's for our overseas trip together!! Got myself rather tipsy that night but it was crucial to relieve myself from all the shit that's been coming to me. Thankful for the crazy fun night with them. :)

Saturday was a dinner date with my boy and food was good. A rather impromptu decision made cause I just wanted to get the hell out of my house. But company was perfect as always. He knows just what to do to make me smile when I'm a mess inside. Thank you, love.

And this year's Hari Raya is spent at Miao Lin's new home with some steamboat!! Always love the steamboat prepared by her family cause there's just so much good stuff hehe. With the usual old group and some of their partners but with some alcohol going around this time. I don't know why so much alcohol is going around at this time of the year (or maybe it's just me/us) but I think everyone needs it to destress somehow. And Miao's mum was really generous to have given each of us an antique to take home! I got some vintage teacups that go perfectly with my floral teas. Yay to more photogenic shots!!

This pretty much summarises my long weekend before I plunge into 5 final assignments due in 2 weeks. Honestly, I just want to get this shitty semester over and done with. But I want my grades, so I can't screw up now. Argh.
The semester hasn't been particularly nice to me either. But then again which semester has? Maybe I'm just being too pessimistic or a wet blanket about everything. The problem I had since poly started never really went away, even though it's been a good one year and 6 months since I've been in the school. Last April I mentioned something about making the effort to blog more about my poly life, didn't I? But the fact is I still dread going to school and I'm just trying to get by the days. Unlike everyone else who's probably getting by more than just fine, I'm not. At all. Yeah it's kind of pathetic I'm living the end of my teenage years like this but I can't really help it. Maybe it's social anxiety, or my fear of trusting anyone. Either way, it feels like turning seventeen meant I've "stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands to keep score".

I wonder how long I can keep this up. Another year? Will I be strong enough to pull through? Or will I just crash and burn with no one to save me? Then again, it's not like I'm the kind to play damsel in distress. Lol. My childlike naiveness will be the death of me someday.

Well, at least there's only 18 days left till closure for this semester. That's comforting enough.

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