The rock bottom on which better things are built.

11:01 PM

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Meet Jacob, the most adorable Golden Retriever!!

As of last Friday, he turned five! Was a little sad that I didn't get to attend his birthday bbq (yes, he had a bbq with other humans and fellow dog pals to celebrate his birthday) because of work ):

Even though I've only known Jacob for a few months, he's already becoming my favourite even though I wouldn't say it's the same for him... It's very obvious from the way he listens to Han and totally ignores my presence most of the times :')
But it's okay. At least he still lets me snap photos of him (he hates taking pictures) and doesn't brush me away when I start obsessively playing with his soft fur. No really his fur is smoother than my hair.

This almost confirms my want for a dog at home, but am never able to convince my parents. I guess in years to come, when I finally move to my own apartment, I'm sure to have my first pet!!

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Waiting for a treat

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They look so in love hahaha.

So much has occurred and changed over the span of 2016, many of which I did not anticipate - both the good and bad. It's been such a turbulent ride and I'm glad that things are finally *seemingly* slowing down before the year concludes itself.

Looking back, the past year and a half had been crazy. In many ways, I was hurting and in a bad place, trying to convince myself that I will be okay even though I barely was. I didn't think I would be this happy with myself and my life, not within the span of a year anyway.

And yet, here I am.

Content in my own skin. Grateful for the love I receive even though I used to think I was less deserving. Hopeful for the years ahead that promises so much more than the depressing thoughts that used to cloud my mind every other day. I know I probably fucked up a lot the past year, but those worst points of my life told me more about myself (flaws, denials, areas for improvement). So, I'm thankful that the pain I faced as a result was not in vain.

I knew acceptance as a low, quiet nothingness that sometimes ache. But I also learnt that it is the rock bottom on which the best things are built.

Of course, I couldn't have done it without the people I love. My primary school girl pals, my sister, the cchy bros, my parents and some other people I've met along the way (some of whom I no longer keep in contact with anymore). Han as well, who was once that patient friend who listened to my woes without judgement, to now becoming a victim of my lamest jokes and stupid antics hahaha.

Traveling this past year has also granted me new eyes and perspectives. And work, which has taught me to be more responsible about my earnings and future. I haven't found solid ground on my achievements yet, but I hope I'll do so soon. It's been stressful and a little nerve wrecking, trying to stick to my passions while making sure it's sustainable (monetarily and practicality wise) for the kind of life I aspire to live.

With half of my gap year gone, I have a lot of planning and reflecting to do before I make the decision that could probably affect me for the next decade to come. I'm not too excited, but I'll give it my best shot. Hopefully I'll work my thoughts out and stick to the beliefs I've always held onto. I'm far from where I want to be, and most days I feel really lost but I hope this is just another phase.

On a lighter note, I'll be blogging about the recent Ohvola Launch Soiree in the next post! The end of the event and the post production left me feeling so fulfilled. More about it in a few days!!

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