I'll walk through the fire it that's what gets me there.

2:51 AM

Spent my entire Sunday mugging for Monday's Advertising paper, and I am so thankful for my bff's company because otherwise, I'm pretty sure I would have slept another day away. We decided on Starbucks (or rather I decided on it cause I was craving for cake) and Kelvin agreed, so we were there practically the entire day.

My ferrero rocher frappe and oreo cheesecake was hella sinful though. I don't regret the calories but lately I've been consuming so much fat food without a thought for my abs or "eating cleanlier" routine anymore. I blame it on academic pressure. Gym workouts are my saving grace.

But I digress.

The study sess was so productive. Thank god I started early last week cause if I left it to only Sunday, I'm pretty sure my brain would've been toasted. In the end, the paper was fairly manageable. I'm still not the exam prep type though, and never will be. So it annoys me that I still have another paper coming Friday, which I have yet to cover a single lecture of.

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Just gotta keep telling myself to push through another 2 more days of this. Sigh.

Aside from exams though, I've been constantly distracted by what I want to do during the holidays. Wanting to have fun is kinda natural, but I've also been thinking if I should apply for another part-time job, or if I should start trying out this freelance designer contest thing my poly's class advisor recommended to me after I expressed my interests in pursuing design. He's such a good lecturer and I trust him when he says I could give it a go but... All that design briefs are so intimidating idk how.
Yes I'm fearful and doubtful of my capabilities but I have to start somewhere don't I.

Oh and aside from these, since June, I have been wanting to start on a new business venture as well. Having been in the blogshop industry since 2008, I guess I can never really bear to part or stay away from entrepreneurship entirely, no matter the years of hiatus I may have taken between businesses.

My first blogshop, xoxo-december (yeah i don't know what I was thinking to have come up with that name and I honestly don't remember but hey it's used to be top few on google search during its golden era), lasted for a good 3 to 4 years before I officially decided to close it just so I could concentrate on my studies - yeah bullshit in the end I spent majority of my time on fencing instead of studying my Amath. But even now, I still am very proud of my achievements. It may be a super old thing now but back then when metal frame wallets etc were popular, I was really earning quite a significant amount from all the blogshops I was supplying to.

And the reason why I got to supply that many blogshops with ridiculously cheap rates was because well, I kinda negotiated with various warehouse suppliers etc and it still amazes me how I did it up till today. Of course, my parents were very supportive to have sponsored me $50 as starting capital, which later bloomed into something far more. It was like a part-time job that funded my shopping and outdoor expenses since my parents don't give me more than my measly $30 per week allowance back then. The blogshop is long dead, but it holds some sentiments given the years I've spent grooming it like it was my baby.

After it closed, I kinda started another a year and half later with a friend. But this time, instead of supplied stocks, I wanted to attempt something more unique and hence, the idea of handmade floral head pieces came to mind since it was the trend. I remember cracking my skull trying to come up with the name "whimsicalfox" and even though the business was pretty short-lived (15 months?), I thought we were pretty darn successful LOL.
We even had our own booths at fleas with other famous blogshops once, and that was really an eyeopener. It's a pity (everyone keeps telling me this) that our differences got in the way of our business, and so it just halted. It was crazy fun while it lasted though.

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(just some super old pictures)

It's weird but I really miss my so-called business trips or being constantly on a lookout for great finds for any of my existing blogshops. And then there's those days when I'll drag my girls/then bf around on weekends to run blogshop errands instead of actually spending time together. It was probably very vexing for them, but thank you for never relenting. Looking back, they really were my pillars of support and encouragement and I probably didn't give them the credit they deserve back then. It may be too late to say this now, but thank you for everything. It means so so much to me, and I am so grateful. :)

The reason for the trip down this memory lane, flashbacks and regurgitation of all this information is because I'm probably going to work on another blogshop once I'm done with my papers. Well, I'm not exactly looking at a blogshop anymore because I'm actually really keen on coming up with my own label this time. An online boutique with its own domain, perhaps. But I've got a lot of thinking to do before I actually come to a conclusion. It's probably going to be something similar to whimsicalfox with it's handmade stuff, but better.

I have my insecurities though. It's not that I think that I do not have the capabilities or money to invest but, I don't know what is stopping me.

Maybe I just need someone to give me the push I need. A green light or 'go ahead' sign.

Maybe, hopefully, that will be the only obstacle in my way.

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